The Parable of the Waffle Man

There was once a man who loved to make waffles. Hence the name Waffle Man.

So skilled was this Waffle Man at making waffles that the people of his village came to his cottage on a daily basis and would stand in line for hours just for a single waffle. Kings and noblemen from far away lands would journey thousands of miles to try his cooking. Sly merchants and entrepreneurs attempted to flatter the Waffle Man into divulging his secret recipe, but he never gave it to them.

However, the Waffle Man was not the only aspiring baker in the village. He had two neighbors of similar talent, known as the Pancake Man and the Muffin Man—for obvious reasons. Thus, competition for business was split evenly among the three culinarians.

One day, a strange cloaked traveler appeared at the door of the Waffle Man’s cottage in the dead of night, when even the chef’s most crazed customers were deep in slumber. The Waffle Man drowsily answered the door and asked what the stranger wanted.

“I beseech thee, kind sir, that thou wouldst give a poor, hungry wanderer something to eat,” the traveler said.

Though mystified by this late caller, the Waffle Man invited the traveler warmly into his home, and fed him four of his renowned waffles along with a tall glass of milk.

After finishing the food, the traveler stood and thanked the Waffle Man for his kindness. Then, quite suddenly, he revealed that he was a powerful magician, and that he intended to reward his benefactor for his generosity.

“In three days’ time,” said the magician, “you will prepare a feast in the town square, to be ready at noon. For every waffle that you make, I shall bestow a gift upon you.” The traveler departed without another word.

The next day, thrilled by his good fortune, the Waffle Man proceeded to share the tale of his midnight visitor with his neighbors the Pancake Man and the Muffin Man, who listened with envious attention as they heard of the magician’s promised gifts.

That night, the cloaked traveler appeared in the village once again, this time on the doorstep of the Pancake Man. Remembering the Waffle Man’s story, the Pancake Man eagerly followed suit and fed the visitor several of his delicious pancakes. Sure enough, the magician made the same promise to the Pancake Man, only he was to prepare the feast in two days instead of three.

This experience repeated itself the third night with the Muffin Man. Like the Pancake Man and Waffle Man before him, he ensured that the traveler was well-fed, and received the magician’s promise. His feast, however, was to be made ready the very next day.

It was only when the three bakers convened early the following morning that they realized that all of them would have to prepare their specialty for the same time. This puzzled them, but nevertheless they hesitated not a moment longer before rushing off to cook their feasts.

For several hours the chefs slaved away in their cottages, cooking up waffles, pancakes, and muffins faster than they had ever done before. However, not long after they began, the people of the village were once again lining up in front of the cottages, expectantly waiting to be fed.

The Pancake Man and the Muffin Man simply turned the crowds away, insisting they would be busy until the afternoon. This resulted in virtually the entire village flocking around the humble abode of the Waffle Man. No longer a line, the hungry throng pounded upon his door, demanding immediate service.

The Waffle Man opened the door, on the verge of refusing them as his neighbors had. But then, as he was about to do so, he found himself looking into the faces of impoverished men, women, and children—many of whom relied heavily on his catering, and had nothing else to eat in their homes. If he did not help them, no one else would.

Decisively, the Waffle Man brought out towering stacks of hot waffles, passing them out into the ravished masses. In the interest of time, he skipped the process of charging payment altogether, telling the people they could each have a waffle free if they would then leave to make room for others. Once the platters were empty, he returned to the kitchen.

In this manner, The Waffle Man produced tens and hundreds of waffles, satisfying the hungry villagers while his two neighbors continued to pile up for the feast. It seemed like the people would never be satisfied, but after several hours of pushing himself harder than ever, he had at last appeased the entire village.

Yet to his dismay, the time read five to noon, and he had nothing left to show for his efforts except for a small amount of remaining batter. Using the last of the batter, he carefully made a single waffle, cooking it to perfection and dressing it with homemade butter and his wife’s special syrup.

The three bakers met at the town square and, at exactly noon, were joined by the cloaked stranger.

The magician approached the Pancake Man and said, “Present your feast.”

Obliging, the Pancake Man excitedly stepped aside to reveal several carts stacked full of pancakes, totaling 250.

The stranger took out a fork and knife, approached one of the carts, and ate a single bite. He paused for a moment, chewing, and then spoke.

“You have prepared a feast of 250 pancakes, but neglected to provide the simple courtesies of syrup and utensils. You also sadly refrained from adding any variety to your meal. Nevertheless, your food is good, and as promised, I shall reward you according to your labors.”

With a wave of the magician’s hand, small sacks of gold began raining from the sky upon the Pancake Man’s carts, until their number equaled that of his pancakes. The Pancake Man looked ecstatic, but said nothing.

Next, the cloaked stranger approached the Muffin Man.

“Present your feast.”

The Muffin Man proudly displayed an enormous table upon which hundreds of tiny muffins were heaped, at least twice as many items as the pancakes. They ranged from blueberry to poppyseed, chocolate to pumpkin bread.

Again, the stranger made to sample one of the muffins, popping one of the bite-sized morsels into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully for a suspenseful moment, and swallowing.

“You have prepared a feast of 500 muffins. Unlike the one before you, no utensils were necessary, and you have succeeded in providing the variety which the pancakes lacked. But these muffins are carelessly undercooked, for they are doughy in the middle. You have not put your heart into your work. Nevertheless, as promised, I shall reward you according to your labors.”

The magician waved his hand another time; half a thousand partially eaten fruit—apples, bananas, oranges, etc.— poured onto the enormous table, spilling over the sides, as unfinished as the muffins upon which they lay. The Muffin Man looked even more shocked, even angry, but still, like the one before him, remained silent.

Finally, the stranger approached the Waffle Man.

“Present your feast.”

Tentatively, the Waffle Man held up the plate with his single waffle upon it, butter and syrup carefully topped, knife and fork set upon a neatly folded napkin on one side, a glass of milk in his other hand.

At the sight of his offering, the Pancake Man and Muffin Man burst into laughter, scoffing at the Waffle Man’s foolish and pathetic output.

But the stranger, ignoring them, tasted the waffle as he had the pancake and muffin. This time, instead of stopping after one bite, he continued to eat the waffle until it was gone, and finally, after casually draining the glass of milk, he opened his mouth to speak.

“You have prepared a feast of one waffle. As such, you shall receive but one gift.”

The Pancake Man and Muffin Man laughed louder still.

“HOWEVER.”

They stopped laughing.

“This is the most magnificent waffle I have had in my life. Your services were generous, and yours alone can be rightfully called a feast, as you did me the honor of supplying beverage. You take pride in your trade; I doubt you have ever given out a single waffle that does not represent your very best work. And most importantly, unlike your competitors, you include the most vital ingredient: love. You exercise your talent for the benefit of others rather than your own. Therefore, as promised, I shall reward you according to your labors.”

Instead of waving his arm, the magician stepped toward the Waffle Man, lowering his hood.

“I am now your servant. Whatever your heart desires, I will grant it to you. All I require is lodging, and, of course, access to your waffles.”

And so, life went on for the three bakers. The Pancake Man was content at first, until he discovered the bags of gold vanished after each of his 250 pancakes were eaten or thrown out. The Muffin Man was so bitter about his reward that he gave up cooking altogether and became a hobo.

But the Waffle Man dwelt in happiness with the magician as his friend and companion. Through the aid of magic, he was reunited with his deceased wife and children, and lived in prosperity for the rest of his days, never refusing a single visitor the chance to try a waffle.