“I love you.”
What do these words mean? Well, depending on its context, the answer to this question varies. The word “love” could be attributed to the interior decoration of a person’s house, signifying deep admiration and approval. On the other hand, it might refer to the Greek Narcissus speaking to his own reflection, a high school student expressing appreciation for a close friend, a mother nurturing her children, Leonardo DiCaprio whispering to Kate Winslet aboard the Titanic, or King David from the Bible singing psalms about his supreme creator. Perhaps the word sometimes—even often—means nothing at all.
Dictionary.com lists no fewer than 28 definitions of the word “love.” Yet in the world we live in today, this word is used so loosely, so lightly, that no distinction can be made. Not only that, but the term “love” is often misused and misinterpreted entirely, both by accident and for specific motives.
Nowadays, the only difference between love of a motorcycle and love for a fiancé is that the speaker does not proceed to kiss the motorcycle immediately afterward (at least, not usually). Even worse is the reality that the concept of love has been over-clichéd by pop culture and society to the point where it frequently carries little meaning—either for the speaker or the recipient. Therefore, in order to protect true love from a thoroughly undeserved reputation, it is important that its separate uses, as well as its misuses, are clearly distinguished.
Love of Things
Often considered the shallowest of all forms of love, this involves the derivation of joy from material objects. The list of things a person can love is endless—from machine guns to teddy bears, from Poptarts to the feeling of jumping off a cliff. Even loving to have fun could be considered love for a thing. However, the most commonly loved substances are those that most wars have been fought over: wealth and power.
Generally, this type of love, when taken to any kind of excess, leads to negative ramifications. This is because love for a thing is nearly always self-indulgent. Illustrating this principle perfectly is Mr. Krabbs, whose greatest vice is his obsession with money—he sells Spongebob’s soul to The Flying Dutchman for 62 cents. And since ancient times, it has been said that “the love of money is the root of all evil” (1 Timothy 6:10).
Having said this, not every use of the word “love” in connection with an object expresses sincere love for that object. On a daily basis, people exaggerate their affections for things either because they want to agree with others and thereby win their approval, or their lives are so dull and nondynamic that they feel the need to use an intensely emotional word like “love” when referring to the color of their toenails. Therefore, only when a professed love for a thing is accompanied by actual emotion can it be considered genuine love.
Love of Self
Often linked with a love of things, this genre focuses entirely on the big number one: me. I look stunning today. My needs are more important than everyone else’s needs. Heck, my wants are more important than everyone else’s needs. I’m so awesome that I amaze myself. I can do anything I feel like doing.
Obviously, self-obsession of such a fashion can lead to all sorts of problems. People who dwell too long upon their accomplishments have no room to think about what they could do to improve. People who are too absorbed in what they need and want rarely get around to making a useful contribution to society, forever stuck in the role of consumer. Thus, the self-centered individual may end up living a pampered, self-indulgent lifestyle and be generally viewed as an apathetic, big-headed waste of space by those around him.
Conversely, self-esteem is crucial to a successful individual. A certain amount of self-appreciation is necessary when confronting the challenges of life. Without any sense of self-worth, no one would ever do anything unique.
Sometimes there can be confusion, however, as to whether an individual actually loves himself. For example, Cruella de Vil might look in the mirror and tell herself she is “da bomb,” but deep inside she could potentially despise herself for becoming a hideous witch as a result of a multitude of unspeakable childhood issues. As such, it can be extremely difficult to tell for sure whether that self-infatuation is a mere façade or the real thing.
Love for Other People
Directly opposing the love of self is the love for fellowmen. This type of love has many subcategories as well: love for a friend, a parent, a sibling, a child, or a special someone. Depending on which of these a particular love falls under, it expresses itself in a variety of ways, ranging from a pat on the back to a hug to…well, use the imagination.
The strength of the bond formed can be different in each case, but all forms of this love involve caring for the well-being of another person. Frequently, the love runs both ways, and a relationship of trust develops. Love between people can be a powerful force for good, generating long-lasting impacts on all involved and causing people to watch each others’ backs and lift each other up when times are tough. Love between spouses enables the miracle of procreation and the all-important establishment of families, which make up the fundamental unit of any community.
But like the types of love previously described, this love has its dangers. Though love might be present, that does not stop brothers from quarreling with one another, nor does it always prevent a betrayed ex-girlfriend from plotting her gruesome revenge.
Then comes the question as to whether the people concerned really do love each other. A dastardly businessman might claim to love children all around the globe while at the same time market candy cigarettes to them, causing them to form habits that could ruin their lives. A friend might only love someone who still has an additional Oreo cookie to share. And, most troubling of all, a couple might begin a relationship only to discover that they, like many, had mistaken physical lust for true love. Such tragic misrepresentations of love run rampant in modern society.
Love of God
Finally, what those of religious backgrounds might mark as the pinnacle of all love—the love of God. A person who is said to love God would willingly devote his life to God’s service—which, of course, is why this particular brand of love can be so powerful. Fueled by faith in God and gratitude for His mercy, love of God is unconditional, ultimate, and boundless.
Utilized through sincere religious conviction, this love inspires, motivates, and gives a sense of purpose to the believer. It allows for a broader perspective on life, which seems ideal, as the short-term perspective can at times be unpleasant. In its true form, there are no real downsides to loving God.
But, as evidenced throughout the history of mankind, love spoken through lips does not always reflect the intent of the heart. It is rather amazing what people have done “for the love of God,” supposedly acting on their unwavering devotion to God’s principles.
Spanish conquistadors would depart in their vessels praising God’s name, only to end up massacring tens of thousands of fellow humans in a distant land. The Puritans of colonial American society would ever so nobly seek to show their love and devotion to God by executing heretics and witches, conveniently reducing the number of land-owning women. Like many religious zealots before them, Protestants and Catholics would solve their disputes by engaging in total warfare, all claiming to act in God’s name.
Yet the Bible these groups claimed to follow clearly dictates that “if ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15), and one of those commandments is definitely “thou shalt not kill” (Exodus 20: 13). The world has used this divine love as an excuse to fulfill its own selfish purposes.
So we see that in many ways, the concept of love has been corrupted by society. Yet these are but a few examples of the methods that have been used. If the fullness of this convolution were to be done justice, the elaborations would require enough paper to wipe out several rainforests. Maybe we could take those 28 definitions and turn each of them into a separate word, and thus avoid all this confusion and ambiguity. But because this is not likely to happen, we must restore true love’s place in this world by showing through example what love is and what love is not. We must embrace yet another type of love: the love of Truth.
The Commonplace Notebook 